Chapter14(1 / 2)

杜加林住的是傅少奶奶未出阁时的卧房,三间西厢房,她占了一间。房间明显被布置过,铜架床上挂着藕荷色的纱帐,床上的被褥也是藕荷色的。墙上钉的月份牌暴露了主人许久不住的事实,那张月份牌上写的日期还是民国十一年,西历一千九百二十二年,旧历五月初六那天用红笔圈了个圈,是出嫁的日子。

这一年,第二次希土战争结束,希军被赶出小亚细亚,汤因比发表了《希腊与土耳其的西方问题》;这一年,斯宾格勒《西方的没落》第二卷出版;也是在这一年,那个说出了“All history is contemporary history”的克罗齐因为不满墨索里尼被撤职。这一年发生的许多事都或多或少地对杜加林产生了影响,但她没想到的是,对她影响最深刻的竟是傅少奶奶出嫁。

杜加林坐在梳妆台前,看着那张已经越来越熟悉的脸,对历史的偶然性有了深刻的认知。她坐在桌前剥栗子吃,今天起得早,这会儿已经乏了,不由得打了个哈欠,扭过头来看傅与乔,他正坐在床边的摇椅上看书。她把椅子倒过来,头抵在椅背上一边看着那人一边吃栗子。

看了许久,杜加林说道,“老三现在应该还没睡,你去找他挤一宿吧。”

傅与乔抬头,挑眉道,“你就这么烦我?”

“按老理说,女儿回娘家应该跟女婿分开住的,否则对本家的儿子不好。”

“你倒信那个。”

杜加林此时见不得他那副得了便宜卖乖的样子,“要不要我给少爷您叠被铺床,您在这儿好好地休息?”

“算了,我也不招你的烦了。”傅与乔拿着书从椅子上站起来,经过杜加林的时候,从她手里拿了个栗子掷在嘴里,他出了门又回过头来关门,那是旧历六月十九,月亮悬在空中八分圆,他站在月色下向她道了声晚安,然后留给她一个背影。民国十四年的月亮并不比九十年后更大些,她又想起幼时学的第一首诗,举头望明月,低头思故乡。这是傅少奶奶的故乡,她终究是个异乡人。她的故乡,又何时能回去呢?

目送着傅与乔出门去,杜加林把门锁好,又拿了一把椅子抵在门口。

她本来困得紧,可到了床上却翻来覆去地睡不着觉,如今她对傅少奶奶的处境有了切身的体会。

看这情况,傅少奶奶做姑娘的时候想必过得并不如意。由俭入奢易,由奢入俭难,傅少奶奶嫁到傅家刚过几年好日子,自然不想放手。毕竟在傅家守活寡也强过在杜家当小姐。

不仅丈夫靠不住,就连娘家也是靠不住的。她要离了婚,这个家她是别想回了,没准杜二小姐还迫不及待要接她的班呢。离了婚,又怎样呢?这个男人靠不住,旁的男人又靠的住么?倒不如索性呆在傅家,还有一个少奶奶的身份。有了这个身份,她妹妹这样的准大学生还肯嫉妒她,要没了,她恐怕连鄙视都懒得给她一个眼神。到了社会上,谁会对一个离异的女中学生另眼相待呢?要有高额的赡养费,还能在物质上维持一□□面。如果她主动离婚,傅与乔未必肯给她赡养费,法律是另一回事,他不给谁又奈何得了他?那时恐怕是物质和精神上的双重打击了。

绕来绕去,婚姻问题归根到底是经济问题。

所以,无论何种时代,一个女子非获得经济上的独立,才能取得婚姻上的自主。

只是她现下拿什么去经济独立呢?她此时竟然有些恨自己是搞希腊史的了,如果研究的是近代经济史,没准还能迅速找到发财致富之路,让傅少奶奶好好地扬眉吐气一次。当然,也等于让现在的自己扬眉吐气了。

现在,与其说傅与乔是她的丈夫,不如说是她的金主。一个妻子当然可以对丈夫不满,但如果还夹杂着金钱关系,那就另当别论了。拿着金主的钱去谈平等自主,爱情自由,说句不好听的,颇有些从事风俗业还要立牌坊的意思,只能自取其辱。

可她能做什么呢?开面粉厂?开染坊?开纺织厂?做这些别说本钱不够,就算有本钱,她也做不来。

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