我就得瑟(1 / 2)

第二十二章

纪南恩生气换了条腿,苏安似有似无敲着,心里算着十二点的钟声怎么还不敲啊....敲啊……

王爷,这个节目不错,你看...苏安在昏昏欲睡之际被轰轰声吸引连忙掐纪南恩众乐乐....纪南恩吃痛睁开眼望过去只见红色雕龙大鼓上一红衣女子柔中带刚甩着长长水袖尽情燃烧,气势磅礴、汹涌浩荡,仿佛千军万马尽在眼前,与之前莺莺燕燕病病殃殃确实不同些道:昔有飞燕掌上舞后有贵妃霓裳羽衣,今日以鼓作舞鼓之舞之,逊色往昔却也费了心思...

王爷,这个结束是不是就可以回去了……冲着大鼓要七八个人抬苏安判定这应该是压轴大戏了,此刻心里只想快点结束回去睡会,实在是又困又热......原以为之前红晕还能来个“非诚勿扰”提提兴致,结果你看我几眼我看你几眼,你笑一笑我点点头抿个嘴害个羞便结束了……古人管这个叫看对眼,管这个叫郎情妾意,你依我浓...苏安觉得她们花枝招展纯粹浪费布料,搁家里画个像省钱又省力....

困了?新年钟声还没敲且按惯例小姐们表演未定第一,出了名额后要赏赐再有官员祝福皇上赐福,百官礼拜才终....你若熬不住便睡吧......

赏赐?第一名?什么第一名...苏安万年吊车尾上“小白书”对倒数第一不敏感,对正数第一相当敏感...特别是还有奖励拿的时候....

官家女虽表演不多但也为此设了讨喜彩头,杨婉,魏延之女还有王静思三人逐鹿...在场官员及女眷到评定环节时一人得一豆子,心中中意谁便将豆子投给谁,最后依据豆子数量出第一名...此举一用来激励官家女对内里修养要勤勉;二来体现君臣和乐一家;三来自然是迎新年赠祝福讨喜头...

所以我刚刚投的两颗豆子是干这个用的.....彩头是什么...苏安精神抖擞问道……

吾家无女不清楚,你感兴趣?

能换成金灿灿的我都感兴趣....王爷,不是我吹,我若十八般才艺样样精通还有下面这些人什么事....我左手掏心右手掏肺,左脚猴子捞月右脚猛虎出山,头发都能玉兔捣药.....谁能看着白花花金灿灿的进别人腰包心不痒痒...我可做不到....

别人武松打虎了不得她擒龙捉虎小意思,是不知害臊两字怎么写还是知道却不屑......纪南恩想应该是后者居多吧道:没记错的话去年是黄金丝七彩刺绣牡丹花套装加一匹蜀锦,今年皇后显然是奔着目的去的,比之去年今年只会更加贵重奢华....

真可惜我没十八般才艺...苏安心里对去年彩头进行价格换算,黄金丝=黄金,蜀锦=黄金,便是十两黄金也是十足十美梦啊...

规矩倒没规定非才艺,武艺也行...我记得有一年一武将之女被父皇兴趣所致邀请展示枪法,若没记错她使得是“十式五虎断门枪”的罗家枪.....传言罗家枪一扎眉篡二扎手,三扎肩头四扎肘,五扎前胸六扎膝,七扎怪蟒穿裆走,八扎金鸡乱点头,九扎银蛇刺咽喉.....本王对枪不太研究只记得最后一招回马枪,杀气四溢....那年她是父皇钦定的第一.....你瞧杨婉的筝,我虽不喜其人但她筝之意境确实空山新雨后天气晚来秋....魏延之女的舞姿优美飘逸但对比王静思折腰生莲逊色太多...

一个被逼无奈一个早有准备肯定差的多了……苏安觉得纪南恩的评价不够中肯反驳道

待字闺中琴棋书画,诗酒花茶,不能说被逼无奈只能说平日多有懈怠..纪南恩剥了葡萄皮将果肉塞进苏安嘴里,不理睬纪湛武羡慕嫉妒的目光悠悠道:王静思早有准备虽无可厚非但基础却是一步一步自小捶打出来的,非几月可成,你看两者相比后者行云流水些...王静思对杨婉,折腰生莲虽美但清净婉约的意境更的人心...他们脏要穿干净的衣服,杨婉的意境便是他们的新衣....公平公正也有真假,你懂我懂大家懂才是人间公平....如何演出公平,找人衬托使其艳压群芳;如何演出逼真,找人衬托使其深得人心;如何演出逼真的公平公正,兼具前两者外还要有足够的人脉...这才是关键....

我知道了,他们不看制造商,他们看logo,made in杨婉是小厂商,logo皇后娘娘就成了顶级奢侈品....为了让小厂商显得高端些,就找一个小作坊衬托小厂商的规范作业然后正大光明贴上logo....

.....

可惜王爷说太迟都投过豆子了,不然我也能比上一比...

奥...纪南恩坐直身体煞有介事道:你有艳压群芳脱颖而出的拿手绝活...

绝活没有但我有语言艺术,既然才艺武艺可以语言艺术自然也可以....至于脱不脱颖而出要看豆子了....我给我这语言艺术起了—名,叫一针不见血……

纪南恩刚想问一针不见血是什么技能便瞧见宫女捧着盘子奉到皇后处,皇后看盘子满意笑道:皇上,瞧,杨婉和王静思得的豆子差不多,不相上下,可见两者出色……

既然不相上下就别浪费人数豆子了...纪南恩懒洋洋打断皇后话道:正好本王身边的小丫头也颇有志气想争一争彩头,本王很看好……

苏安应声站起来朝皇上和皇后作礼,学之前杨婉道:臣女不才,献丑了...皇后愣了一下,臣女?苏安本照葫芦画瓢并不了解臣女与草民区别,皇后想纠正但看皇上没说也不想得罪纪南恩这不讲理的,在被他颠倒黑白咬上一口皇上责备的还是自己...

苏安清了清嗓子往前跨了步嘹亮道:我的参赛作品叫一阵不见血,还请各位点评....在座各位里我最小...

众人面面相觑:.....童言无忌...

苏安看众人没反应求助看向纪南恩,纪南恩摊手而后竖起大拇指,算是知道一针不见血是什么艺术了……脸皮厚薄确实也是语言艺术之一,用得好被人称作“无赖”,用的马马虎虎被称作“不讲理”,一点不会用的被称作“知书达理”,故而才有诡辩,狡辩和分辨.....苏安心道这是不愿意承认我优秀啊,当下心一横一鼓作气道:众人里面我最矮...

众人哭笑不得:....尚有自知之明.....

众人里面我穿最多...

众人不尴不尬:....半间不界...

众人里面我胸最小...

众人脸色大变:.....恬不知耻...

众人里面我亲过王爷还没死...

众人呆若木鸡:...鲜廉寡耻……

王爷,投豆子...纪南恩被苏安最后一句呛住随后哈哈大笑……下面众人尴尬求助看向皇后娘娘,这要都能投豆子还不被天下之人笑话死,他日史书工笔野史传说还不知道传成什么样子...

兄之教不先,子弟之率不谨,寡廉鲜耻,而俗不长厚,实难登大雅之堂……皇后没想到会有人如此作贱自己侮辱他人,许是第一次遇到苏安这种刁民,让她一向端庄稳重的脸差点就碎了一地......

苏安眨巴眼无助看向纪南恩,略带尴尬道:我听不懂说的啥意思...

众人猝....

说你精彩,赞你脱颖而出……纪南恩实在不知如何评价苏安一针不见血技能,只想马虎过去再不提,挥挥手道:既然各位都被我家小安语言艺术折服便请大家投豆子吧...

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