我是苗晓黑，曾被不知名人士遗弃。不知是否是同病相怜，我被一只野生白虎养大。
四岁那年，师父发现了我，把我带回银沙派。他是开派祖师，而我是第一代第十七弟子。
听说师父原来也是个大门派的杰出子弟，只是现在另起炉灶，教导起我们这些孤儿来。
银沙派本来分男女两套功法，可师父说我入门时正好赶上他改革，便让我两套一起修行。见我反响不，他便大手一挥，全面推行起这套新的修行方式。因此，本来只需修习一套功法的师兄师姐们就不得不再捡起另一套来，也因此，我受到了不少怨恨。
小孩子的敌意大多都来得莫名其妙，大概也只有已经过了最佳修行年龄的大师兄和二师姐能稍微好点吧。
可是并没有，或者说，恶意最大的就是大师兄。我至今忘不掉，大师兄领着一群外门把我记事起就一直带在身边的葫芦吊坠丢进人工湖里的情形。
那天我从湖里捞起葫芦，琳琅说那是很重要的东西，说不定可以找到我的父母，可是我不明白为什么要找他们。我去问师父，但是师父什么也没做，只是告诉我，那不过是个没什么用的小物件，丢了就丢了，没必要费力去捡。
于是师兄们便在师父的纵容下变本加厉，后来我大概知道这是为什么了，因为破窗效应，因为我天生没有情感，因为我和他们不一样，因为……我是怪物。
关于师父的来历……师父说他是因为原师门名不符实，苛待弟子才叛出门来，自立门户。我和师兄师姐们曾对此深信不疑，至少他们表面上是这样的。
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