第234章 刘守光称帝1(2 / 2)

刘守光目光短浅,高傲自大,他只求及时享乐,哪管地久天长?称帝一时爽,全家火葬场。

刘守光派使节出访镇州、定州,要求他们尊自己为“尚父”。

王镕将这一情况汇报给李存勖。李存勖召开会议讨论,讨论结果:天要使其灭亡,必先使其疯狂。刘守光已经处于疯狂的边缘了,我们还要给他加把劲儿!

河东将领们心领神会,“哈哈”大笑,遂定下煽风点火之计策,给刘守光起哄架秧子,往沟里带他。

于是,李存勖牵头,组团忽悠他。

刘守光只是想让镇州王镕、定州王处直承认自己“河北一哥”的江湖地位,尊自己为“尚父”。然而河东李存勖却主动拉着镇州王镕、定州王处直、昭义李嗣昭、振武周德威、天德宋瑶等六镇节度使,一起管刘守光叫大哥,联合推举他为尚书令、尚父。

刘守光果然中了圈套,认为包括李存勖在内的整个河北、山西,全都畏惧幽州的强大,全都心甘情愿当自己的马仔……于是,刘守光更加不可一世。

刘守光把李存勖牵头的六镇联名信转发给朱温,说:“瞅瞅!晋王带头,坚决拥护我当尚书令、尚父,可我蒙受陛下厚恩,不敢贸然接受。这样吧,陛下您封我当河北总司令,我帮陛下把河北、河东一锅端了,不劳您出手,我自己就行。”

朱温也是哭笑不得。心说我见过不少傻X,但没见过这么傻X的,岂止是傻X呀,简直就是傻X!玩儿你呢,人家合起伙来玩儿你呢!

刘守光虽然说的委婉动听,但潜台词就是要脱离后梁,与朱温划黄河而治,黄河以南的土地归朱温,黄河以北包括山西,都归他刘守光。

朱温的回应也挺逗的,任命刘守光为“河北道采访使”。唐初,中央下设十道采访使,“安史之乱”后就撤销了,如今,各道的行政区划基本都被打乱,不仅“采访使”成为了时代烙印,连各道的“观察使”也不见了踪影,留下了一地的节度使、防御使,原先的各道被新兴的军阀们随意拆解、拼凑。

此时任命刘守光为“河北道采访使”,就好比如今授予某人“总管大太监”的称号,明显是一种戏谑。这应该视作朱温对李存勖的隔空回应,针锋相对而又不失风趣幽默,两位领导人应该彼此会心一笑,然后一同转脸看向刘守光,“请开始你的表演”。

刘守光不明所以,真的兴高采烈地接受了“河北道采访使”的任命,并且自作主张,让属官策划接受尚父、采访使的仪式。

这可难为坏了司礼官。因为“尚父”本来就不是正式官职,通常认为最早是对姜子牙的尊称,而且是后人对他的尊称,姜子牙根本不知道自己有“尚父”之称,接受封号的仪式就更无从谈起了。

后来的历史记载中,也有极少数的无耻之徒,自称尚父,比如汉末董卓,唐末王行瑜。

司礼官灵机一动,照搬了唐王朝任命太尉(三公之一)的礼仪,呈阅上去。

刘守光皱着眉头从头看到尾,又从尾翻回头,疑惑不解地问道:“怎么没有郊天改元的步骤?”

刘守光应该是典型的一瓶子不满、半瓶子晃荡。他不是完全不懂,只是不完全懂。他依稀记得各种帝王本纪中,在登基称帝的时候,常见“有事于南郊”、“改元大赦”等字样。“别给我偷工减料啊,给我来个大全套。”

司礼官用尽全身力气,才憋住没笑出来,“郊天、改元,那是天子的活儿。尚父虽然尊贵无比,却仍是天子臣属……天子的事儿,您就甭操心了……”

闻听此言,刘守光勃然大怒,把礼仪单用力掷到地上,“我土地方圆两千里,大军三十万,难道不可做河北天子吗?谁稀罕什么尚父?”

于是,刘守光当场下令,给我立刻起草一份登基称帝的仪式清单,我要当皇帝!

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