第830章 他不会成全她(2 / 2)

一笙有喜 鱼不语 0 字 2021-05-12

许顺平点头,“放心,我都准备着。”

手术很顺利,陆方淇醒后,许顺平也遵照她的嘱托,问道:“方淇,小喜是谁?”

陆方淇很虚弱,却坚定的回道:“我女儿……”

那一刻许顺平笑着点头,眼泪却哗哗的往下掉。

那时候无论陆方淇还是许顺平,都以为所谓的记忆力减退不过是医生对于术后影响的夸大其词,毕竟刚开始陆方淇记得所有事儿,除了宋喜,她还记得宋元青,记得从前的点点滴滴。

然而很快许顺平便发现陆方淇的记忆力在以肉眼可见的速度减退着,刚开始她害怕忘记,会跟他叨念很多从前的过往,然后上午说过的事情,下午或者晚上,又会重新说一遍,许顺平听出来却不忍捅破。

慢慢的,陆方淇会忘记日记本就放在床头柜,每当他提醒之后,她心情都会万分沮丧甚至是暴躁,她害怕忘记,恐惧失去记忆。

医生私下里找到许顺平,跟他说,陆方淇术后禁不起这样的刺激,对她的恢复也是有害无益,很多事情应该是顺其自然的,强迫记忆只会让她倍感压力。

所以许顺平将陆方淇的日记本从床头柜拿走了,他在试探她会不会记得,刚开始她还记得要找,因为那上面一定记录了什么,她想不起来,渐渐的,她连找趣÷阁记本的动作也会忘记。

忘记是一件特别恐惧的事情,尤其是站在旁观者的角度,然而陆方淇记不起过去,心里也就不会再有负担,身体在慢慢好转。

许顺平很矛盾,不知道忘记痛苦和记得快乐之间谁更重要一些,每日与陆方淇朝夕相处,他也是人,也会有私心,想着她若是忘记过去,是不是他就有机会跟她重新来过?

这样的念头一经出现就像贪婪的兽,逐渐鲸吞蚕食掉所有伪装的善良与道德,人生苦短,他已经错过大把时光,为什么不能替自己争取一点儿?

许顺平给陆方淇编织了一个过去,一个有宋元青却没有宋喜的过去,所以在陆方淇的‘记忆’里,她有过一段并不美满的婚姻,宋元青在她脑中只是一个模糊的印象,她想着大家是和平分手,那就无需亏欠,只需各自安好。

她跟许顺平结婚生子,因为记性不好,他需时常陪伴,为了她和孩子,更是一度打算放弃工作,他给了她从前渴望而不可及的生活,当真将她宠成无忧无虑的人,忘记不可怕,有他在,他会时刻提醒她。

许顺平在美国这边工作,每年都会以陆方淇的身份寄邮件给宋元青,询问宋喜的近况,宋元青再娶,对于当年陆方淇的离开也早已释然,只说一切都好,有空可以回来看看。

随着年纪的增长,许乐每次喊陆方淇妈妈,许顺平脑海中都会浮现出宋喜的那张脸,乐乐的妈妈,也该是她的妈妈,他一心想找个时间跟陆方淇摊牌,直到宋元青在国内出事儿……

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