第69章 斗战胜佛版本的番外(1 / 2)

那一天,正回忆地球美好生活的斗战胜佛孙悟空,百无聊赖的看着佛经,翘着二郎腿,打着哈欠,想着自己稀里糊涂穿越成美猴王孙悟空,大闹天宫的美好生活。

直到被镇压在五行山,师父唐三藏,一拳贯穿了五行山,钳住悟空命运的后脖颈,笑靥如花:

“猴子,我要你助我修行。”

小白脸的唐僧,霸气侧漏,一身月白色的僧袍,这其中的苦楚,只有孙悟空自己知道,唐三藏他老人家那人畜无害,看似慈眉善目的外表下,其实全都是假的,西游记这本书写的也全是假的。

猴子被迫猥琐发育,辛苦打野,一路披荆斩棘,终于修成正果,师父金蝉子成佛了,悟空这个小猴子也终于成佛了。

然后,就是功德无量,长生不老,无趣且乏味的猴生,肥宅快乐水都没有一瓶!

斗战胜佛翻着白眼,佛经丢回了书架之上,抓耳挠腮的抱怨着:

“枯燥啊,整日吃斋念佛。”

这就是穿越者的人生吗?什么时候人间才可以到二十一世纪呢?

——来拜师的沉香,想要拜师打舅舅——

说实话,刚开始,悟空是拒绝的。并建议沉香:

“那二郎神杨戬是你的舅舅,你想救你的母亲,正月剃头不就可以打败那小子了吗?”

沉香跪在悟空脚下,一脸懵逼:

“真的吗?!师父你是要答应收我为徒,为我剃度了吗?”

悟空撇嘴,和这群古代人就聊不到一起去。

不过闲着也是闲着,干脆来个齐天小圣的培养,再搞搞事情。

故事说来也不复杂,二郎神有个妹妹叫三圣母,私自下凡和人类相恋,还生了个半神半人的沉香,结果天庭就抓了三圣母镇压山下了。

沉香打不过舅舅杨戬啊,就找救兵,最闲的,并且还曾有被五行山镇压经历的孙悟空,刚刚好被沉香选择了。

只是这其中因果却牵扯了很多的事情,首先人神不能谈恋爱这点,就让悟空百思不得其解,转世续缘就不行吗?

当初悟空和师傅讲述某狐妖转世在苦情树再续前缘,讲着正嗨时,被师父打断:

“你一个猴子懂什么爱情??”

猴子懵逼?开始解释:

“师父?你不觉得这种转世的爱情,可歌可泣吗。比如我讲的白蛇传,倩女幽魂,和这个狐妖——”

八戒撇嘴:

“人死如灯灭,转世记忆全无,这算哪门子爱情?另外喜欢鬼的那个叫什么宁采臣,不就是馋人家身子吗?”

猴子怒了:

“你特么猪嘴吐不出象牙!”

师父暴怒:

“泼猴!出家人不得说脏话,给洒家闭嘴!八戒你也要住嘴,悟空他是童子之身,向往爱情又何错之有!”

猴子翻着白眼,挣扎着从师父手中逃脱:

“我就不该和你们这群臭男人谈爱情!”

——斗战胜佛的败北——

雷鸣电闪,乌云遮天,

沉香扛着斧头要劈山救母,只可惜那玉帝王母铁了心要重罚三圣母,所以最终是唐三藏这个旃檀功德佛,亲自来降伏斗战胜佛,阻止沉香救母,阻止有人违反天规。

旃檀功德佛手持紫金钵盂,困住了孙悟空,开始说教:

“你个搅屎棍,一天不惹事,就浑身难受是也不是?”

悟空不服:

“母子不能相见,徒弟我祝他一臂之力又有何不可?”

旃檀功德佛翻着白眼:

“三圣母私自下凡违反天规,又生了孩子,玉帝王母惩罚自己家小辈,关你这猴子什么事儿!”

猴子看着喊着娘亲的沉香,与母亲隔山相望,沉默不语,半晌后,猴王微微一笑,终是褪下了僧袍,熔岩为甲,挥焰为袍,眼神变得冰冷起来:

“有什么理由阻止一个孩子不得与母亲相见,这天规该改改了。”

毕竟在沉香拜师斗战胜佛前,是杨戬先一步出现在花果山,只一袭白袍连三尖两刃枪都没带,毫不客气的诉说了自己渴望变法的心愿。

哥哥想救妹妹,儿子想救母亲,不无不妥,只是一只猴子的出现,导致了佛门势力,也不得不站队。

这一次大祸,作为师父的旃檀功德佛试图从道德制高点来对斗战胜佛讨教:

“戴上金箍之时,你曾对为师许下誓言,人世间的情欲不能再沾半点。你答应过我,你会断掉七情六欲。

齐天大圣,你违背了我们师徒间的约定。”

孙悟空哈哈大笑,手中拿着袈裟,笑的上气不接下气:

“看破红尘,不管身外之事的道理,我懂,您也说过。

但对世间不平之事,你旃檀功德佛不管,我孙悟空却不能不管!

我跳出三界外,不在不行中,不再是曾经的齐天大圣,但却是斗战胜佛!”

旃檀功德佛点头,颔首低眉双手合十:

“善哉。

那沉香如今已拜你为师,你可是只教了他打架的功夫?”

猴王摇头:

“不……

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